what fun was that.

Back earlier than I thought. Feral Children did not play, I just paid a total of $18 to sit by myself at a bar and watch a dumb band. I don't mind contributing $7 to Chop Suey but I wish I could regurgitate that drink and have $10 back in my pocket. For lunch tomorrow or something.

Weekend was a success. Went by way too fast but that's probably for the best. Friday went by way too slow and then all of a sudden it was 2am and I'm doing that thing where you call or text people because you think the whole world is up and amped.

Wha happen? Came home, left and went to Gin's. Her, Matt and I went to the Triangle for dinner. Food was OK, drinks were refreshing. Headed to Evo for the premieres, which I think I paid attention to but before I knew it I had lost Gin, was gabbing with someone and the lights were on and I hadn't noticed the shows were over. Oops. The artwork was cool and the bathroom was a mess.

Walked back to the Triangle, where I guess "we all" were but somehow I failed to notice everyone that was outside of a 3' radius of me. Sorry about that. Saw an old friend who I somehow had lost touch with, she gave me her card so we can meet up and rekindle. Awww. Once again I bought the entire bar shots and pbr's (good order, Sickels). Oh and I fell down twice (twice?!!) Woke up Saturday feeling incredibly rusty. Laid around the house dying for a while, watched the Life Aquatic. Somehow mustered up the energy to shower and decided to bike out to Fremont for that soapbox race. It rained the whole way there, which was fitting because I was biking to punish myself for killing my liver. Rain just added to the pain. It was good.

So that was fun, me and about 4 million other people traipsed about the streets. I ran into Foss and Jessica, we went to Nectar for food and bloody marys (maries?) Got a ride home and pretty much turned back around to go back to Nectar for ...

Cut Chemist! Yes! All I can say here is: he's amazing and the entire night was fun-oh-fun.

Today I did chores and "stuff", went to Chop Suey for no apparent reason. Going to sleep now.

step into the light

I couldn't find the lyrics online to copy so here they are, typed out. (tg for cd cover!)

To make a tempest of our dreams
your white skin on my lips it seems
that I must thread our fingers
through this night without an end
so let your eyes uncover mine,
the fading heat, the broken lines,
the summer in the shadows
of your body next to mine

And goodnight, my darling
goodnight my heart's empty
the scenes that I'm playing
go crazy before me
when I close my eyes

But won't you step into the light
won't you move out of the shadows
won't you step into the light,
I'm losing my mind

- - -- - - - - - - - -
There's more than that but I don't need to type it all. I love listening to this song. It's so dreamy and I love the lines my mind draws when it's playing.

Went to Hopvine with Al tonight. She walked in just as I was having a difficult time comprehending the fact Grand Archives were playing the same night as Cut Chemist. It was a good break, having the interruption, though I still don't know what I'm going to do. Grand Archives will come again (they've played twice already since summer, right?) but Cut Chemist - ! Best news to follow that is Feral Children play Sunday. So at least I'm safe there. For the first time, I think, Al and I talked about how long we've been friends and the connections we have and have made since we met. That was fun - how often do you spend time reminiscing with a friend? Not just reliving the fun times and all you've shared but looking at the root of the friendship.

I have so much I want to accomplish lately, it makes me want to quit my job. Don't get me wrong - I still LOVE my job. The people I work with are fun and full of creative energy, each day brings new challenges so I am always learning and being pushed. I'm not a fan of being stagnant for too long. If I find myself in that position, I create my own ways around it. Plus, for looking at code and typing stuff (for the most part), we work on pretty cool websites. So there.

BUT. After work, I come home to my easel tugging at my sleeve. My camera is antsy to go sit out on the roof and take time-lapse photos. Sewing machine humming sweet tunes of all the things I've promised to create. So many opportunities to craft and create fun things! I get so excited.

I could just go to bed now, curl up as a happy roll of me. Plus it's late and this wine has done me good. xo.

focus

you are a book for me to read
familiar lines that I read on and on

you are a film for me to see
a string of frames that just goes on and on and on

and of the places that I've been
familiar faces that go on and on

you are a song for me to sing
a string of verses that goes on and on and on
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Time is just zipping by. Work has been a mouthful lately, I keep digesting it but mouth is getting tired of chewing. I know it's not going to last like this forever, I'm just not a big fan of marathons. Figuratively and literally. Each day ends with more piles and categories of "things to do" with me sitting wide-eyed in my chair. I scoot back a few feet to take it all in and have to take a deep breath before sliding back to the keyboard. Yes, this complaint is not new but it's definitely hit a new level since July. Really looking forward to a few weeks from now, where I have slated some time to re-org, when I can piece things apart without massive looming deadlines.

One good thing to come of this is I've learned to force the downtime. Working on weekends is rare now, thank god. When I go home I haven't been using the laptop for much else besides listening to music and the occasional Fug check. (ha!) So I'm getting back to the things that were stashed away in my beloved art closet (which is now bellowing out into the living room - joys!) Sometimes it's just drawing after dinner and sometimes I get elbow-deep in crafting with my sewing machine but I'm pushing it more. And I like it more. Turning things around so my work is work and it's not driving my creative side. Too much computer time drains the whimsey from my mind. I get great ideas that end up sitting on a piece of paper, stuck in a book. I'm sorry, mr. Idea.

Back to finishing off this contest piece so I can go home and do some of what I just wrote about. Woo!

can't sleep.

I have this "thing" lately where I Can't Sleep once a week. Tonight I am so incredibly run-down. Beat tired. Flat as an old doormat, lying on my bed. But the wheels are turning, the mice won't stop. Not even sure what my brain is thinking about up there. Seriously! I really want to sleep a good number of hours over here! Guess it's not tonight.

Why is it so fun to look at photos? My photos. Your photos. Viewing the world through through other people's eyes. I like that photos are part of my memory. There's not enough room for my mind to keep track of everything, right? Call in the photos. They'll remind me what I did, what everyone looked like. And the funfunfun we had. Oh, the fun!

Excited about this weekend. Just have to get through work tomorrow (on less than adequate sleep), figure out if I head to the coast tomorrow night, Saturday morning, or just bag it. I really do want to head out there, pretty soon the surfing won't be in my schedule and I'm really enjoying it. Then Sarah's party ... which will be fun. I'm probably due for an afternoon of wine or mojitos with some girls. I haven't seen some of them in a while and it's always refreshing to hang out and converse about things completely removed from work, which is what that will be.

Ah, but you know what I'm REALLY excited about? The openness of Sunday: nothing planned! In my head, of course, I have at least three art projects to get into. Woohooo! I have that makeup case for Anne to finish up, then will probably end up starting one for me. It's turning out pretty cute, I surprised myself with how easily it's coming together. Curious if a different needle would work on the machine so I don't have to hand-sew the fringe to the liner, shag and plastic outside. So many layers makes me scared to try the machine. Then I have a couple shirts to take in and another jeans-become-skirt (how many jean skirts can one own?!)

Then there's the easel.. poor, lonely easel that has been so patiently sitting on my floor. Silently begging to be used. Even has a half-finished canvas hanging out with it. Need.Paint.Thinner! And I'll probably not even paint what's sitting there. I've been tossing around how I could paint one of those macbook pics Alexis & I took on the ferry last weekend. Like one of these:

I think that would be fun to paint, and I haven't attempted a human painting in a very long time. Would be a good challenge, and if I can keep my attention tied to it for long enough, it will be a great accomplishment.

Ok. Going to sign off and try to sleep now.

n o w . .. .

tasty dragon roll. (you found me!)

You'll be given love. You'll be taken care of.

All you need is yourself and you'll be OK. I come back to that at the end of every day. Fuel my brain with friends, good food, happy thoughts, the right perspective and things that propel me out into the world and I am a clam, nestled in the beach with my toes in the sand. Content.

Ate sushi tonight. Such good sushi too! Belly is happy digesting, brain is happy to think. Work has been an uphill battle lately and the getting out after-hours has saved me. Very thankful to have friends to bounce off of and take in their experiences. Where would I be if all I did was talk to myself? Would I be better off to have nothing to compare and contrast the way I see the world to? I don't think so. I think people would wither and dry up if it weren't for each other to share with. Love keeps us going. Physically and mentally, we need each other to reach out to.

Does the mixture of fresh fish and sushi equal something that makes you live longer?