tienes chocolate?

Hey, blog. I keep padding back & forth between this blog and the other, like I feel bad abandoning the blog I so tended to for six years. Is that weird? Does it matter if it's weird?

Going skiing after work! Excited to have after work times open for playtime again. Getting worn down on the hammer of requests that won't stop, so getting up in the mountains is a good way to let the day's frustrations out. Plus it's good to spend time with Alexis, this will be our first after work ski adventure.

My toes are all tappy, eyes are starry from the butterflies in my stomach. It's so great to have met someone who is so fully happy and content with themselves - someone who I feel really mirrors what I want in life and have been looking for. My brain keeps checking in "is this real" and I keep coming back with the same answer: yes.

And I love every bit of it!!

effen insomnia.

Why. Whyyyy. It's a monthly thing but I can't tie it to any habit or event that comes up. Last night was my night of insomnia. Went to bed around 10. Was putzing around the house when my brain said "hey, you're tired. go to bed." So I did, body was exhausted and mind was at rest. But as badly as I wanted to I just could not get the brain to shut off. Work, planning, future, all these things are zipping around in my head and wouldn't turn off. I'm not even stressed about anything - that's the usual culprit.

Typing is hard. Fingers are tripping over each other and my brain is moving slower than they are typing. Try that on for size - it's a weird feeling to have your fingers ready to move but brain hasn't kicked out the content for them yet.

Had an amazing holiday. Life is a complete 180 from where I was this time last year. Love looking back on life as a timeline. I've been told I'm good at that - keeping track of things, pinpointing places and faces to the year or month. Anyway, this holiday was full of snowboarding, smiles, hugs and kisses, swapping and creating of stories, food and drinks... the list just won't stop. It's all good and it all makes me glowing with sunbeams inside. Absolutely love it to death.

Totally putting off the work this morning. Incredibly hard to be motivated when my mind wants to slump back to slumber. Slumper < Is that a word?

f2dae.

Forgot the painkillers at work so was up most of the night in quiet pain. Cat purring in my face to tell me kitty whispers but it wasn't too cute, I just wanted to sleep. Today has been the worst in a while, as far as energy levels go. It's such a short fuse, the anxiety is high.

Have to figure out my shit, get it together n.o.w. I want to get hosting nailed so we can look at the "what if" we should move all sites to a new platform. Knowing the shit we've encountered in the past, the roadblocks and I just don't want to deal with that anymore. I want to move forward with all the landslides of requests coming in.

Chocolate time!!

fat hips, chapped lips.

I'm home and already in need of a break. Condo is a mess, car is a mess, desk at work is a mess and yet - I don't feel like my life is a mess. How's that work?

Whistler was long. Cold, lots of talking and taking in information. Hard to digest with so much going on at once, I'm looking forward to compiling all my word docs into one profile and picking apart our schedule from there. Getting the next three months situated will be interesting, I'm still trying to wrap my head around how to get us on the Linux bandwagon. However it pans out, it can only be for the better. CMS's are something I should have started us on a looong time ago. We'll get it.

My hip is starting to bruise and the carpal tunnel is pretty bad, too. All of a sudden I feel really OLD. I should go get a coffee, tea wasn't hitting it this morning. Damn that cafe umbria at Portobellos! It was so tasty, so perfectly delicious with cinnamon that I was having a cup a day. Terrible move, me. I'll let it slide today but after that, tea. You hear me?

ta-da

I'm really enjoying the conversations.
The time without talking is just as good.
Figuring out the things in common, sharing stories of what makes us who we are and how we got to be how we are. All these things make me so warm inside, stirring up emotions like butterflies spreading wings. Feeling fresh air moving you, opening your mouth to a smile and keeping it. Hold it just a little longer and relish the toes tingling.

Glad D wanted to come back, the walk home was freezing and it was somehow comforting to hear I'm not the only wuss about toes cramping into the bed of your shoes. My toes are dented and nearly contorted from how cute those heels are.

Something weird happened at the bar. After the food, after anything organized had diminished into thin air, we are all watching the VP of global sales stand up on the bar. He brings up two other honchos, and I watch in horror as they are warming up these brandy snifters and loosening up their pants. Someone close by mutters "oh, they're doing THIS again?!" and moves closer. I'm thinking - wha? Before I have time to think if I should move closer or look away, their pants are being dropped. Grown men in boxers and briefs!! On the bar! Good lord. They warm up their cups and slide them onto their asses so they are stuck there. They are semi-dancing about, people are hooting and cheering and I'm awestruck. Not in the way you stare at something you like. More like when you can't believe your eyes. You feel your stomach flop and your brain tries to make the connection but fails. I didn't need to bear witness to this event but was still subjected. Finished the last two sips in one fell swoop.

That's when I knew I hadn't had enough to drink to hang, and either needed to commit and drink a LOT or just cave. We left that mess and headed off... after seeing lines at the next five bars, I knew I was done. D and me came back to the hotel, bid each other adeu and now here I am.

Expensive phone bills are temporary. The memories and buildings are much, much more valuable and permanent. And I hope it's just the start. Wish I had oil pastels to put these feelings to paper...

what's with old bands?

Suicidal Tendencies are in town tonight. Are these guys not like 60 years old by now? I can only assume they've been wasting away on their funds raised in early 90's and are finally in need of more money but too prideful to apply for a position at the local grocery store. Doesn't everyone need a bagger or checker?

It's that snow day today. I forgot to schedule an appt so I could miss it. On top of all I have going on, one of the last things I need on my plate is needing to stand out in front of work in my snow gear, smiling for the "photo op" with the chickens.

moving sucks.

Hi. I'm moving this week and I can't.wait.for it to be over. Why is it that I fill my life with things so I'm always busy? Moving is a huge undertaking: the packing, the cleaning, the purging, the opening and closing of doors, walking down stairs, the driving across town ... so why do I add more to the equation? Maybe it's habit, maybe it's because I pressure myself to get so much accomplished. Whatever the reason, it's likely going to result in me getting sick.

Can I tell you a little bit about my iphone? Gadgets are an unsecret obsession of mine and the iphone is bursting with ways to make me giddy. Though I must say, Apple HAS to be adding a flash and camera options to the next version. That would be my only complaint.

...fine, back to work.